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Much Ado About Sex With Lesbians | Autostraddle

This has been a big week for homosexual-related very first individual narratives in liberal-and-feminist-but-mostly-heterosexual publications!

Our very own very first portion involves us via xojane, the ladies’s internet site went right up by Jane Pratt (my champion)

(I’m really serious) of




Titled ”
I am a Lesbian Pillow Princess
,” this piece is part of the “It Happened if you ask me” function that also existed at JANE magazine and is made up mostly of writer/reader-submitted reports of subjectively fascinating individual experiences.

The anonymous author of this piece, who we’ll contact “Ariel,” is really bisexual, but because she easily supplies hit jobs to the woman male lovers but does not day or typically go down on females, the woman is, she describes, commercially, only a ”


Pillow Princess.” (She additionally refers to herself as “mostly straight” and “directly” at different factors within the story.) The woman reputation began, she clarifies, whenever the woman first lesbian hookup — a smokin’ hot dyke known as Kelly at the woman college — went down on her behalf for an hour. She la-la-la-loved it after which straight away fled the scene fearing her very own inability to execute such great cunnilingus upon Kelly for such a protracted period.

She produces:

“of course, phrase got around that she and that I had installed and therefore I would left the girl hanging, which in fact had the odd effect of offering me folk-heroine status. Kelly known as myself a “pillow princess,” and henceforth, I was one. It had been like some type of motion picture conceit where the character is seen erroneously as a celebrity and extends to ride in a limo and remain in a fancy lodge as a result of it.”

This evidently totally exercised within her benefit, as she romped about in school starting up with many “aggressive types exactly who had gotten off on the idea that I became reluctant to try to let a lady touch me.” Post-college, she shifted towards the internet, where she marketed the girl calm status and frequently found up with girls for NSA gender.

Near the end she problematically clarifies that when setting up with a female she actually is maybe not attracted to, she just closes the woman vision and envisions some other person “while [the lesbian] does her thing.” Often it appears like she wishes ladies to eat her out simply because they are allegedly better at it than the male is. She


go down to them but “I’m not internet dating all of them, and that I don’t think I would want my personal fetish corrupted by caring for a person adequate to hand back.”

I would personallynot want to sit down near to Ariel on a plane, but the woman one-sided intimate experiences are consensual and she’s merely telling a true tale of her life, thus I’m not sure what things to make of this (and that I’m interested to understand what you will be making from it, if any such thing).

After that, on Jezebel (via
The Nice Guys Project
) there is
I Married a Lesbian (And I’m men)
. The writer, Hugo Schwyzer, “tended to obtain crushes for a passing fancy particular woman: the star baseball member, the football ahead, the swimmer. Some had been lesbians. Some were not.” The guy wondered:

What-is-it that drew myself so frequently to ladies who were same-sex drawn? It really wasn’t the stereotypical male fantasy about what they certainly were performing during intercourse, also it definitely had nothing to do with a macho belief that i really could turn a gay woman right.

In elements, the part (which really does tred on some stereotypical surface) reminded myself with this price from

The Girls Next Door

that I quoted in an article about female masculinity

“…if we had which will make one other generalization about lesbian style, it would be that the majority of united states are powerfully interested in women, homosexual or right, breathtaking or perhaps not, who seem like they could eliminate themselves.”

The writer eventually marries a lesbian whom provided as straight, in which he found their unique causing sexual life getting unsatisfactory. She would not give him hit jobs and failed to enjoy entrance but joyfully approved his choices of cunnilingus. When their own sexless matrimony concluded in split up and a drug relapse (for him), he could be relatively caring to his ex-wife’s struggle rather than marking her as misleading (as much with the commenters carry out):

She had come from a conventional household who would have been significantly embarrassed to have a gay son or daughter. She may usually have recognized, but performed the lady far better cover it, probably wanting that the woman emotions might change. Or she might-have-been like lots of ladies I’ve known, and simply found her genuine intimate identity after already being hitched to men.

What is actually redeeming about this article in my opinion that the author’s conception of his personal sex is generally without any the original male posturing any might count on in a piece such as this (the guy also refers to himself as “femmy”). Maybe it simply appears that way because men very seldom discuss desiring powerful, sports, effective women with short hair; but it is refreshing nevertheless.

I really don’t mistake Hugo or Ariel for advising their unique stories, but it’s really worth mentioning that both narratives appear to ride on the concept that bed room conduct is the ultimate/only litmus test of pay for sex near me Hugo and Courtney enjoy both’s business, but Hugo cites Courtney’s disinterest in entrance as a “warning indication” the guy missed, whenever entrance is hardly an exclusively heterosexual act (it appears more likely Courtney dreaded the closeness of penetration with men she didn’t wish to get with, yet that knows) and falling crazy, finally, means the snatch but it is additionally about your heart and it’s really primarily about having romantic thoughts. Those passionate emotions are the thing that turns a hook-up commitment into a relationship, most likely.

Ultimately at


there is a sweet tale straight from horse’s mouth area —
My First-time: Female. 17. San Francisco
. I believe this is basically the first-time the “First Time” series features presented a lesbian.

Basically, in ninth level, the writer confessed to the woman companion that she had lesbian thoughts for her, along with her closest friend reciprocated, and they proceeded to carry on a stealth lesbian commitment and they’re nevertheless together now and she’s a grown-up in the military!

It seems they’ve but to simply take their connection from the closet, which will be slightly puzzling, but whatever

. [


: ends up this story ended up being authored before DADT was repealed, although it just got published, therefore nothing is puzzling happening right here. This is simply straight-up sweet in most method, unequivocally.]

The focus of the piece (and that’s very pretty and nice) is found on the writer’s discovery of
just what lesbian sex is quite

We had never come down on every other, and that I had been convinced that’s what we would meant once we stated we wanted to make love. (today we realize there is even more to fucking than licking a lady’s snatch and calling it each day.)

She concludes:

I am aware that a lot of men and women differ by what virginity methods to a gay woman, but virginity is entirely subjective, plus it truly depends on whom you’re inquiring. People might say entrance needs to be involved, but I think it really is up to the individual shedding their virginity. Basically feel I’ve lost my personal virginity, after that goddammit, We have!

I’ve spent a good many early morning and mid-day observing wordpress, racking your brains on what point i possibly could make about any of these pieces. I imagined much about why we’d never ever submit “I became a Lesbian Pillow Princess” with this site but are unable to get past the reason that I’d fear 50 of you would vow not to come back here plus the remaning many-thousands people would battle with one another about bisexual erasure/lesbian erasure before heat loss of the universe. I pictured someone posting “I Was a Lesbian Pillow Princess” to us via e-mail immediately after which We envisioned the article conference where we’d arrive at that tale and all of state “NO” at exactly the same time.

In trying to find a time to gleam from the stories, I tried to figure out what you might think or say, and I can not, and I want to complete this post at the earliest opportunity to accelerate the procedure of me personally learning what you believe about these tales. Yup, the very first time ever since starting Autostraddle, I had gotten little idea what you should say about anything. Very perhaps I should simply want to know — what’s your a reaction to these pieces?

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November 7, 2023
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